If you’re a young adult with Sensory Processing Disorder you’ve probably asked this question a dozen times:
How can I date when I have Sensory Processing Disorder?
How can I get close to someone when I have to wear noise canceling headphones in every restaurant? How can someone respect me if I can’t drive very far away or can’t drive at all? How would someone handle my sensory tools, my brain fog, my frustration at the most normal things… the list goes on.
Honestly, the real question we’re asking is: Am I lovable, despite all this junk.
When I’m dealing with my SPD, I often feel unlovable, strange, and alone. I wouldn’t wish SPD on my worst enemy. I see what it does to me, how could I ask a boyfriend to put up with the effects it has on me?
And yet, just recently I suddenly found myself in the world of dating and I began to realize something wonderful:
That dating is not only possible, but my SPD makes dating a little more special.
Why? You ask.
With SPD in my life I can’t put up a charade. I have to be me and I know that is very hard, but it is very important to developing relationships.
People want to put up an act that everything is alright. Our culture has fed us the line of: “you have to be perfect or no one will like you.” But the truth is, that line is a lie! Be yourself, because you can’t ignore who you are forever.
It’s amazing how special it is to build a dating relationship on honesty instead of lies.
By being yourself, you begin growing something that goes deeper than the top soil of most relationships; developing something very special.
It’s true that being yourself makes one feel very vulnerable… “What if no one likes who I am?”
If they don’t like who you are, then the question is- “is that you’re problem or theirs?” -Because if that person likes you, they are going to have to like all of you, SPD included.
Sensory Processing Disorder is hard. There will be limitations, draw backs, frustrations and heartache. But you know what? Those words also describe life.
Everyone experiences all those things, perhaps not as often as we do, but they still experience them.
It’s the person who sees that life is hard for everyone (whether you have SPD or not) and decides to reach into that junk who is worth dating.
But there’s more…
SPD allows me to treasure the small things and to develop the important things. Because everyone wants to be known. Even the one your dating wants to be appreciated for who they really are.
Having SPD gives you the eyes to see past the surface and to love them for who they really are.
So, yes! It is possible for you to date, because there is more to you than your SPD and there are people out there willing to see past the sensory junk to the true beauty within. Don’t give up. Keep living, keep expanding your world, and being the special person you are!